The invisible part of living with T1D & I want a medal.
Updated: Mar 22, 2020
In general diabetes is an invisible disease.
I wear an insulin pump and a continuous glucose monitor (CGM) that people can see and sometimes hear, but other than that looking at me you wouldn't know I live with type 1 diabetes.
Most days that's fine with me, you don't need to know.
Some days, I want to shout from the rooftop that:
...I got up and went to work, despite my morning BG being 319 and I felt like crap and just wanted to sleep for 3 hours.
...my blood sugar can fluctuate many times during the workday but I still managed to get done what I needed to get done.
...that the above mentioned fluctuating blood sugar can often leave me exhausted and it's all I can do to keep my eyes open past 9pm
...that some days I'm jealous of people who have fully functional pancreases. I want to just look at food and decide to eat it and not guess how many carbs, figure out how much insulin to dose, then WAIT 15 minutes for said insulin to start working before I eat.
...that sometimes I don't want to deal with the above and deliver insulin as I eat.
...some days I have no clue how I've managed life with diabetes for over 40 years
I was going to end this by saying I don't seek kudos or a medal. But you know what, I do. We aren't supposed to want to be patted on the back or be given kudos. We're supposed to deal with it all and show how strong we are. I personally think it's ok to sometimes want that medal.